The dorm is empty now. I sit down amidst the empty chip bags and beer cans littering the sofa and coffee table. I'm ready to liberate myself from my relationship with Mia and indulge in a life of single bachelorhood with my bros.
My fingers speed along the surface of my iPhone's keyboard. "I'm sorry. This just isn't working out." I think about going into deeper explanation, but why make it even worse on her. She doesn't need to know that I'm having too much fun at SFU to be tied down. It's not like I'm heartless.
That's it. It's done. I breathe a sigh of relief.
The screen on my phone lights up. A message back. "What isn't working out? Did you do your taxes?"
Well, that's frustrating. She's making this more difficult than it needs to be. I won't play into her game though. "Us. You and I." I decide not to bother with the tax question. Maybe she figures that if she can change the topic, she can just avoid dealing with the issue. I don't know.
A text back. "I've been thinking that for a long time too. Glad we agree. Seriously, did you do your taxes or not? I have room for 1 more on my Turbo Tax account if u need it."
"Enough about the taxes! You're just trying to distract me from ending things. The truth is, I just don't think your fun enough."
"That hurts, Daniel. I'm not sure what part of Turbo Tax doesn't seem like a party to you. Swing by on Sunday to pick up the disk."
Passive aggressive bullshit. Mia had never been one to be so unaccomodating. A girl's true colours certainly do show once the shit hits the fan.
"I'm not coming by Sunday. Or ever again," I type. "Do you understand?! This is over. I have a new life now. And your not in it!!!!"
I felt that the extra exclamation marks were necessary in conveying how mad I was.
"I guess you won't be needing any money then? Sad. & I was going to make your favourite. More lasagna for everyone else."
"I dont kno what your on about but I dont find this very funny. I was just trying 2 have an honest conversaton with u and this is how u respond? What a bitch. I am so done with u. U weren't even that good in bed. Ur just mad that ur stuck there in that shitty town while I'm off at SFU actually doing somethin with my life. I dont want 2 end up like our parents. Or like u." I know that my typing has gone to shit, but I'm so angry that she's trying to make things more difficult than they need to be. I'm impatient to have this be over and done with.
"Daniel..? It sounds like we need to talk."
Great. Let's prolong the process even more.
I notice an incoming call on my screen, but it's not from Mia. Panic hits me.
For Christ's sake. Have I just broken up with my mother?
Sure enough, there it is. In place of Mia's name on the conversation header is 'Ma'.
I answer the call.